Chronic Pain and Happiness

Being happy is a difficult challenge for most of us. It is a state of mind, an intangible state of being. No one other than yourself can say whether or not you are happy. But what about those people who have the added challenge of living with chronic pain? These are people who are not dying from their illness, but rather live a life with some element of ongoing pain.

Working as a health professional I come across many people who experience some sort of chronic pain condition. Arthritis, phantom limb pain, recurrent migraine, chronic back pain, diabetic nerve pain; the list goes on. There are so many people who have these conditions, yet while doctors do everything they can to relieve the ailments, sometimes these conditions cause symptoms that some people just have to learn to live with.

If someone punched you in the stomach, or you stubbed your toe or banged your head; in that moment it is highly unlikely that you will feel happy. While this may hurt for a short while and makes you feel a bit sore, this pain will go away. This is acute, short lived pain. For people with chronic pain, their pain is ongoing and has varying degrees of severity. Being in pain is a miserable experience, so how do people with chronic pain manage to be happy?

Happiness means different things to everyone, as does pain. Experiencing pain, like happiness, can only be described by the person feeling it. No one can measure or record someone else’s pain experience.

Pain management is such a complex issue, and emotional well being has a major effect on how well a person lives with their pain.  Understanding pain, learning coping strategies, taking medication, practising relaxation techniques, exercising as appropriate are all regarded to be essential in the management of chronic pain.

As we all know, happiness is a different state of being for each individual. Living with chronic pain does not make being happy impossible, far from it.  Being able to move freely or perhaps not experiencing any pain one day might be things that elate chronic pain sufferers. 

For pain sufferers, the extent to which each individual manages their pain has a huge effect on their happiness. Chronic pain management is a complex issue, and sufferers should seek help from their doctor or therapist, as there is no need for anyone to face chronic pain alone. 

Controlling Anger

Everyone gets angry. From time to time, there will be things in life that just get under our skin. Think about when you are sitting in traffic – how often does this make you angry? Do you yell expletives in your car at the offending driver? Do you toot your horn? Do you go so far as to actually engage the person who has “done you wrong”? We all get angry, but we cannot afford to let it be an emotion that comes easy to us. Anger doesn't make us feel good, so why waste your time with it? Here are some reasons why getting angry only harms you and your emotional well-being.

1.       You never make good decisions when you are angry

How often are you likely to come up with a great idea, solve a problem, and make a good decision when you are angry? It doesn't happen. When we are angry, our minds are solely focused on the issue that has made us angry, which then often promotes irrational behaviour.

2.       Anger gets you into trouble

People with major anger management issues are often getting in to trouble, as they are letting their anger control their decision making. While you are calm, you probably won’t hit your jerk of a boss (even if you think he deserves it). But for some people, when guided by anger they do end up doing stupid things like assaulting people.

3.       Regret often stems from anger

Can you recall a time when you said or did something that you now regret; which only happened because you were angry at the time? We might say hurtful things when we are angry that we don’t really mean. The anger within us is looking for an outlet by trying to hurt someone else; often someone we care about. It may be something minor, or it may be a significant event which ends a relationship.

The lessons to be learnt from anger are that it is a damaging emotion to you and potentially to those around you, depending on how you behave when you are angry. Anger should not be anybody’s controlling emotion. If you feel yourself getting worked up, cool off before saying or doing anything. Learn to control angry emotions – if you are easily worked up you may need some professional help to cope with anger management. A good place to start is reading this article over at Tiny Buddha. Don’t let little things stir you up so easily. Acknowledge to yourself that you are annoyed by something/someone, but try not to react in a negative way. The key message is anger gets you nowhere, and only does harm, never any good. Anger is the most useless emotion, so don’t waste your time being angry!

How to be still

I will admit, it has been a very stressful weekend! As I have been packing in preparation for moving house, I have had very little time to relax. Or even time just to be still, without my mind whirring away thinking of the next task that needs to be completed. I haven't slept well, as my mind just won't switch off and be quiet. I feel exhausted today. People around me tell me to" relax", but that is easier said than done. Boxes aren't going to pack themselves, so how can I reduce the stress?

The way I see it now. my body is trying to tell me it has had enough and it would like a break! I've recently discovered meditation, and the art of being still. Being still goes against all my natural tendencies, I'm the type of person who is always doing something. But as I've discovered, my mind needs some stillness for its well-being.

When I talk about meditation, I'm not talking about sitting cross legged on the floor and"ohmming"for hours. There are many different types of mediation out there, but I've found guided meditation audios available on iTunes, as apps or directly over the internet to be quite helpful. One of my favourites are the guided meditations at Meditation Oasis. I find these to be extremely useful at helping me to relax and switch off the traffic in my mind.

In our switched on world it's easy to  feel like we constantly need to be connected and doing something. But in the long run, this will do us more harm than good. This is certainly what it feels like for me - what are your thoughts?  Taking a small amount of time out each day to just be still seems so easy, yet so few of us do it.
I'm going to practice being still. I know my body and my mind will thank me for it!

How to maintain a positive state of mind

The ability to be positive in any situation significantly contributes to being happy. I'm sure you've come across those people, who, no matter what the situation, seem to be able to find something positive about it. Everyone else around them may be moaning and grumbling, but they just manage to smile carry on. For some people this ability might come naturally, but I would think that for many people it is a learned talent.

It is hard to be positive; it is easy to be negative. It is how humans work. Take a look around you and listen to people's conversations. People constantly look for the negative, point out faults and have a downcast attitude. Being positive takes energy, and a little bit of effort.

I know myself when I'm faced with something challenging, or even something good it’s easy to be negative. At the moment I'm moving house, and whilst being in my own home for the first time is exciting, I'm struggling to think past the packing...and then the unpacking! It's just so easy to spot the negatives, the difficulties, the challenges; rather than identify and relish the positives.

So I've done some investigating this week and I came across this post at The Wellbeing Revolution about how to consistently maintain a positive state of mind. Author James McWhinney points out some key factors necessary to maintain positivity, including practicing gratitude, journaling, exercising, meditating, performing random acts of kindness and looking for something positive in every person and situation you encounter. Performing these tasks every day may take some effort, but there it is again, positivity doesn't come naturally to most of us, but I'm willing to learn and give it a go!