Healthy ways to manage stress

I am the type of person who doesn't realise just exactly how much I get stressed. It doesn't even  have to be anything major, just lots of life’s little demands that keep building up. Whilst I am dealing with all these “little things”, my body gets tenser and tenser. It’s not until I get a massage, have a good laugh or take a deep breath and relax my shoulders that I feel just how stressed I have become!

Recently I've taken stock of my stress levels, and discovered some ways to ease the load and relax. There is no exact way to manage stress, it’s simply finding an activity that you  are so engaged in that your mind becomes freed from  its worries.  We all have stress to deal with, and it is possible for each of us to cope with it. Successful people are not those that don’t have any stress, they are just successful at managing stress.  Consider trying some of the following approaches to help manage stress.

Option 1: Do some physical activity

It may be hard to find time to exercise in your day but getting the body moving is one of the best ways to relieve stress and stay healthy. Put on some music and dance like no one’s watching. Play on the Wii, play WiiFit, Zumba or Sports Resort. Get outdoors and go for a walk, run or bike ride.  Physical activity was the nature of human existence before the explosion in technology (we didn’t have cars and we didn’t have machines to do a lot of our housework). Get your blood flowing and your  heart pumping and your stress levels will plummet!

Option 2: Laugh

When you laugh, all the muscles in your body relax. If you are stressed out and have a good laugh you will feel just how tense your body really is. Visit YouTube and find a clip of a funny video. Watch a comedy show that you enjoy.  Remember a time when you had yourself in stitches, and soon enough a grin will be likely to come to your face.

Option 3: Reward yourself by doing an enjoyable activity

We all have activities which we enjoy doing. Reading, shopping, sewing, watching TV, going to see a movie, gardening, cooking, having a massage; all of these activities are highly effective at taking your mind off your worries. Really engage in what you are doing to refocus your mind away from stress.

Option 4: Talk to friends or family

When you get stressed you may have a tendency to bottle up your problems. Talking to friends and family can help take your mind off your worries, and a problem shared is usually a problem solved. Family and friends want to help, and be there for you, even if you think you can manage on your own. There is no need to carry a heavy load alone.  

Option 5: Talk to a counsellor

Sometimes stress can get so overwhelming it can be extremely hard to get perspective on how to deal with it. Talking to acounsellor can provide a completely objective view on your problems without any emotional attachments.  Counsellors are more readily available than you might think. Community organisations like Lifeline have a 24 hour  telephone counselling service, and many workplaces offer  confidential counselling for employees.

Unhealthy ways to cope with stress

Choosing a healthy way to manage stress may be hard, especially given that there are a range of easy, unhealthy ways to deal with stress. Often these are the first port of call for many of us. Who hasn’t had that chocolate bar or an extra drink after work at some point after having a bad day? Smoking, gambling, and other risky behaviours are all ways people choose to cope with stress. In the short term, you may feel better. But in the long run, these types of behaviours will damage your health, adding another unnecessary stress to your life. We all cope with stress in different ways. Sometimes we might choose to manage stress in a healthy manner, other times we might reach for the chocolate bar. Stress is a part of everyday life, so it is a life skill to learn and practice the stress management technique that works best for each of us. 

5 Reasons Why You Should Avoid Solving Others’ Problems

Some of us always seem to end up solving other peoples’ problems. It can be anything from petty everyday issues to helping someone make on of life’s big decisions. We are the ones others turn to when they want something. I’m not just talking about your kids phoning asking for help, it’s EVERYONE.  If you are one of these people you know that you have been a problem solver for everyone ranging from your boss, your colleagues, your friends, associates and even complete strangers. Some of us seem to end up being the perpetual helper and  I know I am one of these people.  So why do we do it? Maybe we have got “sucker” or “push over” written on our face, but I think it would fundamentally come down to our caring nature. Caring people like to help others out, which is fine in small, reasonable amounts. But as I have learnt, there are several reasons why it is not advisable to get involved in solving other people’s problems.

1. People rely on you

This can make us feel needed and important, but what about when you really don’t have the time or the means to help out? This only puts extra pressure on you and increases your stress levels.

2. You will end up never having time for yourself

You might be able to solve others’ problems, but how is your own life looking? Sometimes you spend so much time focusing on others your own life can take a back seat, and this should not be the case.

3 You rarely get any thanks

Often as the person people turn to for help, it’s just taken as a given that you will be able to resolve whatever issue is thrown your way without question.  People end up taking you for granted, and consequently rarely thank you for solving their problems.

4. Resolving mundane issues will not leave you with that warm fuzzy feeling

Helping out at a charity event or volunteering your time for a cause you are passionate about will leave you feeling great and glowing with that “warm fuzzy feeling” of having done a good deed. Getting bogged down in helping others deal with routine mundane issues will not. Ask yourself “will doing this particular task make me feel good about myself? Unless you absolutely have to (this means you are employed and getting paid as compensation for your efforts!) don’t do it unless you answered “yes” to the previous question.

5. Don’t get involved…you don’t need to be!

Sometimes you might overhear a conversation and think “I know how to fix that” or “I know the best website for information regarding that problem”. You aren’t even involved, but somehow you end up getting yourself involved and offering your assistance anyway, simply because you have potential solutions.  You have enough of your own problems, without getting involved with others. Let people figure things out for themselves, in their own way.

The helpful people of the world are overlooked and underrated. Your own happiness is not going to be improved by involving yourself in other’s problems.  When you feel tempted to problem solve for others, simply remember that it’s not your problem, let others find their own solutions, and get on with living your own life!

How to be still

I will admit, it has been a very stressful weekend! As I have been packing in preparation for moving house, I have had very little time to relax. Or even time just to be still, without my mind whirring away thinking of the next task that needs to be completed. I haven't slept well, as my mind just won't switch off and be quiet. I feel exhausted today. People around me tell me to" relax", but that is easier said than done. Boxes aren't going to pack themselves, so how can I reduce the stress?

The way I see it now. my body is trying to tell me it has had enough and it would like a break! I've recently discovered meditation, and the art of being still. Being still goes against all my natural tendencies, I'm the type of person who is always doing something. But as I've discovered, my mind needs some stillness for its well-being.

When I talk about meditation, I'm not talking about sitting cross legged on the floor and"ohmming"for hours. There are many different types of mediation out there, but I've found guided meditation audios available on iTunes, as apps or directly over the internet to be quite helpful. One of my favourites are the guided meditations at Meditation Oasis. I find these to be extremely useful at helping me to relax and switch off the traffic in my mind.

In our switched on world it's easy to  feel like we constantly need to be connected and doing something. But in the long run, this will do us more harm than good. This is certainly what it feels like for me - what are your thoughts?  Taking a small amount of time out each day to just be still seems so easy, yet so few of us do it.
I'm going to practice being still. I know my body and my mind will thank me for it!