Remembering the name of every person you encounter may be challenging,
but worthwhile in the long run. I recently had an experience at work that emphasized
the power of remembering a person’s name.
Now I’ll be honest, I hadn’t actually remembered her name,
but rather I’d just overheard her introduce herself to someone else. True, I
had met this person before, but I did not have the faintest idea what her name
was. Then when I went to speak to her, using her name, she was really pleased
and said “You’ve got a good memory!” She was then really receptive to what I
needed to discuss with her, and eager to be cooperative.
This incident really struck a chord with me, as my
accidental “recollection” of her name was really important to her. She didn’t
know I had forgotten it and only accidentally overheard it; and I wasn’t going
to correct her as that would have served no useful purpose. People care about
themselves, and there is no sweeter sound to a person than the sound of their
own name.
Think about it, when you hear your name, your ears prick up,
you pay attention, you look around to see who it is that wants to speak to you. This one word is so important to each individual, yet actually
being able to remember names is hard. Perhaps that is why people who can recall
names easily get so much further in the workplace, in business dealings and in
social gatherings, than those of us who lack such recall for names.
So how can we remember names? If it was easy everyone could
do it. Here are a few strategies I’ve discovered to try to remember people’s
names.
1. Listen
You are never going to remember anyone’s name if you are not
listening for it. When being introduced to someone, listen for their name and
if you don’t catch it ask for the name to be repeated.
2. Observe the details
Look at the person closely to identify distinguishing
features. Observe facial expressions; listen to how they talk and whether they
display any defining mannerisms.
3. Repeat it
If you don’t use it, you will forget it! Use a person’s name
a few times during your initial conversation; just be careful not to overdo it.
4. Associate the person’s name with what they do
This technique is particularly effective if the person’s
name and occupation are highly appropriate, completely mismatched or humorous
in some way. For example when you meet a doctor who is a Dr Love, Dr Feelgood or Dr Death; it is going to be
very easy to remember their name and face. Yvonne Stitch who is a dressmaker, Brad Tyler
who is a tiler, James Makepeace who is a
diplomat; are all examples of names strongly associated with what the person
does, and consequently easier to remember. Clare Tall, who is 5ft, Nathan Stick, who is a beefy lad and Sally Green
who is a red head all have mismatched names to their features. These contrasts provide
a means for the brain to associate the person’s name to their face.
5. Create a mental image to associate with a person and their name
How often have you thought, “I know the face, I just can’t
recall the name?” Our brain is better at remembering visual information, rather
than verbal or written information. Creating a mental image of a person’s name
helps to overcome this, and consequently this method is likely to be most
effective for recalling names over a long time period. This “mind picture” method was described by Dale Carnegie,
author of the ground-breaking “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, and
several other personal development books. The “mind picture” technique involves
associating an image that sounds like the person’s name, combined with some
other detail about them. The more
ridiculous the image you create the better, as your mind is more capable of
recalling names if the person’s face is associated with vivid image you have created
in your mind.
Consider the following examples below:
- To remember Jason Deer who likes to drink a lot,
you could associate his name with an image of a mason with a deer holding a
beer. A mason sounds like “Jason” a deer is, a deer and including beer in this
image helps to remember the drinking aspect of his personality.
- To remember Samantha Fisher who owns Labradors,
you could associate her name with an image of Labrador holding a fish in its mouth being
chased by a panther. Here we have a “panther” which rhymes with “Samantha”, the
Labrador in the image helps to recall something defining about her and the fish
in the dog’s mouth provides a visual link to the name “Fisher”.
The beauty of this method is that
there is no right or wrong way to create the mind images; it is whatever you can come up with in your mind to help you remember that person’s name.
After my experience at work, I am
going to try to remember people’s names more often. It is easy to think I have
remembered someone’s name, only to find I am struggling a day, or a week, or a
month later to recall it. I’ve never had
such a positive initial reaction from a person before; and if remembering names
is what it takes to get this response, then I am going to give it a go!
