Quote of the day

"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today" - James Dean

I love this quote by James Dean. So very apt coming from someone who appeared to live by this attitude who had his life cut short by a car accident at such a young age (at 24 years old). It is an appropriate reminder that no matter how bad a day you may be having, you never know which day could be your last. Don't waste time having bad days, work on what you can do to make your day better. Be happy for today, and dream for the future. 

Making Choices

Today I attended my cousin’s wedding.  In amongst the readings and the vows, the priest took the opportunity to discuss why we make choices. His view is that ultimately we make choices that we believe will make us happy. We don’t tend to make choices that will make us worse off.

Making everyday choices

Looking at the choices we make every day, we all act in a way that will contribute to our happiness. We decide what to eat for breakfast.  We might be on a diet, so we eat something that we think will be a healthy start to the day. By eating healthy, this should help with weight loss and this will then make us happy. We have a shower, which we do to keep clean, and make us feel refreshed. We choose our commute to work. We might use public transport because it is cheaper and more convenient. This saves money, which improves our life. Or we might choose to drive a car for a less crowded commute if we have free parking. All these small decisions are made automatically every day.

Not all choices are good choices

Every choice we make has some element of consideration of our happiness, wellbeing, or enjoyment. It can be a small decision, or a huge decision. This doesn’t mean all people make good choices. The person who chooses to steal a car is thinking they can go for a hoon and have a good time; or maybe they want to sell it for cash. By making this choice, there is something in it for them that they think will contribute to their happiness.  They don’t make such choices thinking about the consequences.

The power of choice

As we have this incredible power to make choices, we can all try to put a bit more conscious effort into our decisions, however small or large. Some choices take an instant,  especially those driven by our survival instinct. For example we choose to put our foot on the brake if something crosses in front of our car, without giving this decision any conscious thought.  But for the majority of choices we make, if we actually put some more thought into the decision making process, however small or large, there is a huge potential to make better choices, that will contribute to our happiness. 

Yes…you CAN : 5 ways to manage stress

Stress is a naturally occurring biological phenomenon. All living things experience stress, from the antelope being chased by a lion over the plains of Africa to the bomb squad expert deciding whether or not to cut the blue wire or the red wire.  Stress is part of life, it cannot be avoided – accept that now! But there are ways to help manage your stress so that it does not control your life.

1. You Can: Identify and acknowledge stressors

 Identifying what causes you stress and acknowledging it is the first step in coming closer to reducing your stress levels. Stress is like a bell curve. No stress at all and we’d never do anything as we would have no desire to strive for survival. A little bit of stress is needed for optimal performance, too much stress and your quality of life becomes seriously diminished. Determine the really big obvious stressors, such as work related issues, financial issues, health concerns; as well as the minor ones such as your partner’s annoying quirks that irk you, things your kids do that drive you nuts and the irritants you encounter each day.

2. You Can: Select what stress you can get rid of

Some stress is easily dealt with, and it is best to start with these things. Any issues that causes you stress which you can delegate – do so! Any problems you are dealing with that aren’t yours to begin with – get rid of them!

3. You Can: Prioritise

If you’ve got a lot on your plate, trying to deal with it all at once can be daunting. Prioritise what has to be done today, this week, this month etc. Now once you’ve done that go through your list again and really review it. What have you put down for dealing with today that you can really put off for the week? This doesn’t mean you are being disorganised, you are learning to prioritise.

4. You Can: Get help

Where has it ever been engraved in stone that you aren’t allowed to ask for help? Whether it’s a colleague, your partner, your parent, your child, your neighbour, your best friend, your stepmother’s gym instructor’s cleaning lady – if you ask you will usually find that there is someone who can help you if you need it.

5.  You Can: Cope

Coping with stress is one of life’s essential skills. And you can do it, you already are, even if your current coping mechanism is doing so many different tasks you never have any time for yourself, you’re simply trying to distract yourself from the stress by keeping busy. There are countless ways to cope with stress, far more than what I could possibly cover in this post. Learning to relax is one such coping mechanism– which may seem easy in theory, but may be very difficult for many so don’t be concerned if you take some time to learn this skill. Learn to identify your body’s signals – it will tell you when you need to stop and take a break before you burn out.

Yes, you can manage stress, but you cannot beat it.   Embrace stress, as trying to “fight stress  is only going to increase stress and anxiety by raising adrenaline levels, creating a higher level of fear. Acknowledge how stress makes your body feel and notice those subtle changes.  We all experience stress, just don’t let it stop you from experiencing the rest of your life.